Alone in a crowd

You've often heard the phrase, "Alone in a crowd.". What makes this special? Why not just "I felt alone?" I hope you paid attention in English class (Thank you Mrs. Coetzer!) cos the answer is... A paradox. There are a hell of a lot of people here, yet you're alone. Circular reasoning and logic are defied.

There are 7 billion people on this planet. 7 billion. Do you know how much that is?

• To reach 7 billion seconds of life, you'd have to live to be 220 years old
• 7 billion m&ms fill 3 olympic sized swimming pools
• 7 billion ants weigh 23 tons
• 7 billion sheets of paper stacked one one the other, would be as high as the international space station - In space. Space. Outer space.

Now imagine 7 billion people. 

Can you see them? (Most of them Asians).

With Dreadlocks, and flowing flaxen hair, braids, pixie cuts, tattoos, dark skin, light skin, yellow skin, olive skin, Christians, Muslims, Jews, Bhuddists. 

All different types of people in the world.

And you don't feel like you fit in with any of them. 

Yeah, yeah, individuality and stuff but to just connect with another human being, even if its at a lame party, on a university campus 1779 kilometers from your family, with your next door neighbour in a residence with 400 people and very thin walls... Its important. To feel like someone's listening, like someone cares. Its one of the most basic human needs. 

And yet so many people ache for that everyday. They don't have it, they just need a smile, a kind gesture, to not feel alone.

But...

In a world with 7 billion people, why do we feel alone? Statistically, in this world, with all its microcultures, niches and types of people, there is at least ONE person whom you will fit in with. One person capable of providing you with (not necessarily romantic) love, love that is healthy, pure without any ulterior motives or agendas. 

Why are we alone?

We're alone because we don't know why we're here. There is a hole in all of us. Even those laughing with a beer in their hands at a party. We're all missing something. There's a hole. A God-shaped hole. 

We try to fill the hole with our idols, whatever they may be, video games, sex, alcohol, our partners, our career, our friends. 

We look at everything but what is good and what is pure and what is God.

I am SO far from perfect. I myself struggle with the concept of God, he's so perfect and good and alien... I feel as if he overpaid for me on that cross. I'm not worth being tortured, beaten, mocked and being so mutilated that you're unrecognisable... No. I'll just go and study my medical textbooks, I'll keep spending at least an hour a day on 9gag, I'll go draw, find good music and have no real hobbies, I'll go pretend to be happy and complete and full. This life is fine by me. Being good-ish, thats good enough.

But that loneliness. That fire that catches you when you stop moving, that thought you have before you slip into unconsciousness at night. That hole. That is your soul telling you "I'm empty.". "Fill me."

You were made for more, I was made for more, and even though I don't deserve the sacrifices made for me and I never can, I can never make up for that. I can accept it, daily, as a gift. A gift of love from My Lord. My Saviour. 

Then, you don't ever have to be alone, not even when you are by yourself, in your room, not in a hall with hundreds of people. You don't ever have to be alone ever again, you don't have to be lonely or empty, because you know true love, because you are full.

Because Jesus loves you.

Couch Out