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Well... I am going home tomorrow. Not as keen as I think I should be... Nowhere near as keen as last time. That is for shizzle.

Today... Was nearly ridiculous in its... ridiculousness... It was... Memorable. So was yesterday.

Yesterday I learned more than I had ever learned in a single day. I am so chuffed, can't remember half of it but it was ingested and I am still living... The entire process of pregnancy, childbirth, labour and the hormonal control thereof was done, today, saw a baby emerging from the birth canal into the big bad world. It was hideous. Thank you baby, for helping to desensitze me to the horror that is the method by which you entered this world but my gosh! The trauma, the shock, the horror! The pure unadaluterated horror! Monty Python helped a tiny bit, seeing it afterward. But my uterus... I feel the fear radiating from it... All I can say is... The science, its wonderful its facinating, its beautiful. The practice, of pushing a watermelon through your keyhole... Is something like absolutley no other...

See how happy she looks! If only she knew...

This is who she will become. Unless she gets the good stuff. And even then... She will never be the same... She'll be a mother, and after undergoing Ruebin's developmental tasks will have evaluated herself and her ability to give of herself and she will find closeness with her own mother but goodness... I cant get over the alien image  of a human emerging from the oriface of another human...

While I wish I could be an empathic health proffesional... I cannot empathise at this point in time, 18 and young, and awesome (and procrastinating. Not keen to be alone with my thoughts). All I can say to you is... Enjoy your tiny human. I hope it brings great joy.

(BTW, that "pain face"... total lie. Furrow between eyes should be well... furrowed. Lower Lids should be tensed. Lips should be turned down and even though her mouth is open, you can see they are turned upwards. Her eyes should be squeezed shut not merely closed. Come on Lady... You can do way better than that!!)

Next Topic:

French! I must admit that I was in fact... (NOT) incorrect... Je ne se quoi (yes, thats the right spelling) means "I dont know what". Not "I dont know". Something strange is infact a synonymous phrase, essentially meaning the same thing. Now I must include a bitjie here on funny french things.

• Poisson sans boisson--c'est poison!.

(To eat) fish without drinking wine is poison!

• Didon dîna, dit-on, du dos d'un dodu dindon.

Didon ate, it is said, from the back of a fat turkey.

• Natacha n'attacha pas son chat qui s'échappa.

Natasha did not tie up her cat, who escaped.

• Tonton, ton thé t'a-t-il ôté ta toux?

Uncle, did your tea take away your cough?

Try to say them, in french. They are positively smile inducing!

Next time you want to say:

• I've had it! Throw :"Les carottes sont cuites" into the conversation... Yes what you are infact saying is that the carrots are cooked, HOWEVER, if said in an angry enough voice with a good foot stomp thrown in... It shall work nontheless.

Wanna shake up your regular "Goodness Gracious!" ?? I know I do! (So does he...) I recommend the lovely...

• Ah! La Vache! (Oh, the cow!) But really, its better than HOLY SHIT! Anything is better than spiritual feces.
• Zut Alors! No one knows what this means but it sounds so exotic and amazing...

Back to my previous, very humble allusion to my correctness, see this website where they describe Je ne Se quoi as - Something that is hard to describe. (http://www.france-travel-secrets.com/french-sayings.html)

Now for some french Profanity Profoundness:

• J'ai toujours vu que pour réussir dans le monde, il fallait avoir l'air fou et être sage.
  I have always believed that to succeed in life, it is necessary to appear to be mad and to act wisely.
  (Montesquieu, philosopher)

• Généralement, les gens qui savant peu parlent beaucoup, et les gens qui savant beaucoup parlent peu.
  (Rousseau, philosopher.)
  Generally speaking, the people who know little speak a lot and the people who know a lot speak little.

• Le plus grand faible des hommes, c'est l'amour qu'ils ont de la vie.
  
  Man's greatest weakness is his love of life.
  (Molière, playwright and actor.)

If you remeber nothing else about today... remeber that no matter where they are, what they carry or what they do... Veins head TOWARDS the heart. Arteries head AWAY from it.

Some more random ones, they really are quite lovely!

Avoir d’autres chats à fouetter - To have other cats to whip
In other words, to have other fish to fry

Avoir le cafard - To have the Cockaroach
i.e. to be sad, blue, down in the dumps

Ce ne sont pas vos oignons - These are not your onions
- Its none of your business...

I probably should stop now...

I probably should sleep now...

I probably shouldn't be so damn frustrated!

Here ends the french section of this evening's post. Although Post is misleading, its more an essay -slash- random tirade -slash- proclamation of my own awesomeness -slash- I really really really dont want to sleep. Some people went to bed at 9. And left me alone with a Jacket Potatoe brain (Mixing friends and metaphors but... Cést la vie!)


I am... Incoherent at this point.  I also need to sleep. Flying tomorrow. Need to be bright, happy and friendly.

I was going to say something super awesome and profound. But I don't have it in me right now.  This is where I say my goodbyes...
Night night/ Good morning
Bonne Nuit/ Bonjour (Actually means good morning... Some people use B... Shite. I'm going now. Im gone)